a SERMON funny.........

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to
his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following
results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive

So the minister asked the congregation, "What can you learn from this
demonstration?"

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, "As
long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service.

today'sTHOT============================

By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

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a FISHING funny..........

This old fisherman would go out in his boat every morning and come back
about an hour later with a cooler filled with fish. The game warden
got suspicious as to how the old guy always caught so many fish in such a
short time. So he invited himself fishing with the old guy.

They went to the middle of the lake, the old guy pulls out a stick of
dynamite and throws it overboard. Boom! Fish start floating to the
surface and the old guy starts scooping them up in his net.

The game warden says, "You can't do that. It's illegal."

The old guy quietly lights another stick of dynamite, hands it to the
game warden and says, "You gonna talk or are you gonna fish?"

today'sTHOT============================

A guy goes into a second hand shop to buy one for his watch.

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a WEB funny...............

12 STEP PROGRAM OF RECOVERY FOR WEB ADDICTS

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER
newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand
typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan
dinner before even thinking of the Web.

5) I will sit down and write a PAPER letter to those unfortunate few
friends and family that are Web-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone whom I cannot contact via the Web.

7) I will read a PAPER book.

8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling
them to turn the TV down so I can hear my music on the Web.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is
necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to
balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed
sometime...and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

today'sTHOT============================

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

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a Hundred highways...............

I have been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still in all I'm happy
The reason is, you see
Once in a while along the way
Love's been good to me

There was a girl in Cleveland
Before the summer storm
Oh, her eyes were tender
Oh, her arms were warm
And she could smile away the thunder
Kiss away the rain
Even though she's gone away
You won't hear me complain

I have been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still in all I'm happy
The reason is, you see
Once in a while along the way
Love's been good to me

There was a girl in Chicago
Before the winter chill
We used to go a-courtin'
Along October hill
And she could laugh away the dark clouds
Cry away the snow
It seems like only yesterday
As down the road I go

I've been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still in all I'm happy
The reason is, you see
Once in a while along the way
Love's been good to me