a WEB funny...............

12 STEP PROGRAM OF RECOVERY FOR WEB ADDICTS

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER
newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand
typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan
dinner before even thinking of the Web.

5) I will sit down and write a PAPER letter to those unfortunate few
friends and family that are Web-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone whom I cannot contact via the Web.

7) I will read a PAPER book.

8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling
them to turn the TV down so I can hear my music on the Web.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is
necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to
balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed
sometime...and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

today'sTHOT============================

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

=======================================

a Hundred highways...............

I have been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still in all I'm happy
The reason is, you see
Once in a while along the way
Love's been good to me

There was a girl in Cleveland
Before the summer storm
Oh, her eyes were tender
Oh, her arms were warm
And she could smile away the thunder
Kiss away the rain
Even though she's gone away
You won't hear me complain

I have been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still in all I'm happy
The reason is, you see
Once in a while along the way
Love's been good to me

There was a girl in Chicago
Before the winter chill
We used to go a-courtin'
Along October hill
And she could laugh away the dark clouds
Cry away the snow
It seems like only yesterday
As down the road I go

I've been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still in all I'm happy
The reason is, you see
Once in a while along the way
Love's been good to me

ADVICE TO FATHERS ABOUT CHILDREN............

ADVICE TO FATHERS ABOUT CHILDREN

A - Always trust them to God's care
B - Bring them to church
C - Challenge them to high goals
D - Delight in their achievements
E - Exalt the lord in their presence
F - Frown on evil
G - Give them love
H - Hear their problems
I - Ignore not their childlish fears
J - Joyfully accept their apologies
K - Keep their confidence
L - Live a good example before them
M - Make them your friends
N - Never ignore their endless questions
O - Open your home to their visits
P - Pray for them by name
Q - Quicken your interest in their spirituality
R - Remember their needs
S - Show them the way of salvation
T - Teach them to work
U - Understand they are still young
V - Verify your statements
W - Wean them from bad company
X - eXpect them to obey
Y - Yearn for god's best for them
Z - Zealously guide them in biblical truth

-- Author Unknown

God's Cake............

Now we all, from time to time, have problems or troubles
in our life. After all life is not a piece of cake, or is it? So
the next time you feel troubled why not have a piece of.....

God's Cake

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this", or
"Why did God have to do this to me". Here is a wonderful
explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going
wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her
and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her
daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says,
"Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.

"Yuck" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?"

"Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then?

Or maybe baking soda?"

"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad
all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right
way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He
would let us go through such bad and difficult times. For God
knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they
always work for good! We just have to trust Him and,
eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

Always remember, God is crazy about you.
He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in
the universe, and He chose your heart.

Now I hope your day is a "piece of cake!" After all, Life may
not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might
as well dance.
---Author
Unknown---

Why are you crying, Mom?

Why are you crying, Mom?

"Why are you crying?" he asked his Mom. "Because I'm a
woman" she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His
Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will"..........

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother
seem to cry for no reason? "All women cry for no reason"
was all his dad could say........

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering
why women cry...

Finally he put in a call to GOD; when GOD got on the phone
the man said, "GOD, why do women cry so easily?"
and GOD said.......

When I made woman, she had to be special. I made her
shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the World;
yet, gentle enough to give comfort....

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the
rejection that many times comes from her children......

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when
everyone else gives up and take care of her family through
sickness and fatigue without complaining......

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and
all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very
badly...

This same sensitivity helps her to make a child's boo-boo
feel better and shares in their teenagers anxieties and
fears.......

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults
and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.....

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts
his wife, but, sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve
to stand beside him unfalteringly.....

I gave her tears to shed. They are hers to use whenever she
needs them. They are her secret strength. They make her
more like ME.....
Author Unknown
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