time to think.........

TIME TO THINK

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted
out a tissue-wrapped package.

"This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the
tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed
with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was
still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at
least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special
occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and
put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician.
His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special
occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when
I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an
unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California
from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all
the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things
that she had done without realizing that they were special.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading
more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without
fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my
family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible,
life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to
recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we
use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a
pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my
good blazer to the market if I like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I
can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm
not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores
and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going
friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear
and do it now.

I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she wouldn't be
here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called
family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former
friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she
would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing -
I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that
my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I
was going to get in touch with - "someday". Angry because I hadn't written
certain letters that I intended to write - one of these days. Angry and
sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I
truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would
add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my
eyes, I tell myself that it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath truly is... a gift from God.

If you've received this it is because someone cares for you. If you're too
busy to take the few minutes that it would take right now to forward this to
ten people, would it be the first time you didn't do that little thing that
would make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you it certainly
won't be the last. Take a few minutes to send this to a few people you care
about, just to let them know that you're thinking of them.

May God litter your life with blessings!

"You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going
to hurt."

"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need
to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."

-- Author Unknown