Friday, December 28, 2007

"HOLY HUMOR"

"HOLY HUMOR"

1. There was a Church that had problems with outsiders parking
in its parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK -
FOR MEMBERS ONLY trespassers will be baptized!

2. "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."

3. "Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!"

4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."

5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone
tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a
headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign
with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church
reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays,
too."

8. "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water
before you know how strong they are."

9. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."

10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"

11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are
long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of
this World."

13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain
eternal fire insurance soon."

18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------(U R)

19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."

20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd
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